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Hand Over the Heart

by Rainstick Cowbell

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1.
sucker tree in the SW field, it’s operating like voodoo left too long where the plow won’t dig after the storm of ‘02 your father he was taken not my business but I've come this far and I love you just that I couldn't help but feel responsible it’s possible holy ghost is waiting holy ghost is crying I can’t see you anymore don’t be afraid your lineage, raised to defend don’t leave the farm your mom would want you to keep on fertile sounds put ears to the corn rejoicing from grace in the wind don’t leave the farm don’t sell the view I know the axle on the tractor is bent up we can fix it, I’ll help you take the bush-hog to that SW field and restore it with clover your mother she is fading not my business but I've come this far and I love you just that I couldn't help but feel responsible it’s possible holy ghost is waiting holy ghost is crying holy ghost I can’t see you anymore or love you anymore
2.
anthems and chanting parrot demagogue back at ya, bra flags caught unfurling like tongues they got a say I felt that way showered for days who hears the warning? comes in the mourning time coals to the fire glow into the fight honor and pride seek your own kind because every time a shot ricochets back rhetoric on display I heard you say “like in the movies” burning from coast to coast until it feels right declaration reverse what dulls the star shine killing from coast to coast until it feels right (this don’t feel right) who hears the warning? comes in the mourning power the people majority is might
3.
spread your wings take off your dress divulge your size reveal your breadth assert release bend over soliloquies—I said too much resolving doubt un-cloister faith oh my god beholding wonder transcendentalist became a monster unfurl your wings take to the air forsake this place and if you dare assert release revolution soliloquies—I said too much resolving doubt un-cloister faith oh my god beholding wonder transcendentalist became a monster gates of hell allure so now you know what’s brought to bare about: knowledge the more I give the less I take the more I say the less I prove the more options the less I choose
4.
I am no Ostrogoth Theoderic the Great never conquered here kept these hills step dwellers people of the pebbly coast find level find level Greuthungi—east Tervingi—west look to mars worship mars Huns gave pause Hunics rule Danube flee to the Balkans Death to Attila Strabbo, son of Triarius Odoacer, disposer of Augustulus away Byzantine-Frankish conspiracy allies not what they seem check-mate history now your shortened and pale and wearing mascara wearing mascara brooding
5.
weighing the options gazing upon receding shores do what is proper selfish, selfless, heretofore? to this point a failure maps what not to do this life serves as warning (an honest review) color’s gone it’s monochrome every single day who pursues sycophants? violent truth friction day denying self, avoiding mirrors phobic reaction from the west, breath of Zephyr sigh of setting moon it declares—it’s done, a rest starting on this day forsake love no sex appeal shark, legs taking over sin vulgar onto sin (naturally choose) sans money rich in ideals shark, legs they’re taking over sin vulgar onto sin (naturally choose) sans money rich in ideals junk it they’re taking over sin—an opportunist (don’t waste them) weighing the options gazing upon receding shores do what is proper selfish, selfless, heretofore? a trinket for the future souls pry it off, it’s cool mementos from headstones among corrupted youth color’s gone it’s monochrome every single day who pursues sycophants? violent truth friction day grinding wheel grinding down grandiose
6.
hold the line as the gas dissipates let come from impossible odds courageousness voices are raised, combining tied to the rails, unyielding hope every one of you I owe how I want to be among you fight the byzantine affliction cops, they go to flank the horses gnash and the hooves, they stomp scattered now in the serge of billys rally two klicks to the west and refocus manifestation ‘cause we can I know I know I know manifestation ‘cause we can control control control manifestation nation fight fight fight on! voices are raised, combining tied to the rails unyielding hope every one of you I owe just wanted to say that to you how I want to be among you be among you I want to the police state it’s a shame who sets the pace of change? as they murder us it’s a shame stones beget stones of martyrs bored of this endless trespass
7.
graduation party come around to instigate caps and gowns they’re coming off then we’re off coming in for the perfect kiss the kind that shines when it’s over close the eyes and part the lips feel when it’s over us loving taking over me love coming over you graduation party come around to lead away now alone there is just us so, just us coming in for the perfect kiss the kind that shines when it’s over close the eyes and part the lips feel when it’s over us love taking over me love coming over you come on! why do you think I came? come on! why are we here? “it’s complicated, honestly” I should know better it’s complicated, ornery hands in sweaters “it’s complicated, honestly” I should know “it’s complicated, honestly” Oh, him hear what they know say what they say and get it out “it’s complicated, honestly” I should know better she loves him babies him
8.
drunken mind, pissed hollow culture I’m pulling subsets from the corners jacket for a pillow on the cold concrete it’s a burden, intelligence jacket for a pillow on the cold concrete hips and shoulders bare the weight atone (@1) the offal cuts the kind that’s left discarded, inedible pianissimo braggadocio to resolve, remove the pounded heart that beats in a tone, conciliatorily pianissimo braggadocio
9.
barred vestibule sinister allegorist enticingly calling from the hedgerow false information agents and double agents (tripling?) then I thought, “I want to” unravel the cocoon untwine philosophy unclothe the paradigm the seduction pacify deceive wrong opera orchestra calibrating odd tunings challenge is harmony taunt lucifer rolled up in hades bondage, contortioning laughing ‘cause I want to before I go. . . wired weird—two hemispheres no filters, pause, subtext or politics for I go. . . unravel the cocoon untwine philosophy unclothe the paradigm wake up with a burden go out like a bastard resolve like a bullet the seduction pacify deceive gather ‘round in brevity laconism—what the fuck?
10.
hearts entwined, true lovers shadows in the fall, elongate rising - sliver of a moon pale we glow in darkness shadows on the door entering slowly unrecognizable argument throw fire-crackers flashes in the calm you light them, don’t you? elevate the mood bad for you we’re going there over time systematic mathematical cyclical de-tune here we are no progress stagnant in the cause we failed it, clearly shadows to exhume yesterday combusting torches in the cave I see you mostly as a fading rune bad for you we’re going there over time untaken care I resolved to write a letter not as rude and twice as clever all the points I failed to address or covered in a veil of curses our memories are revisionist at best sure came apart in my hands
11.
12.

credits

released September 1, 2014

All songs, words, sights, sounds © Rainstick Cowbell. 2014
Recorded @ The Institution by my friend Daniel Orvik & Operation Launchpad by Rainstick Cowbell
Mixed @ Falcon Studios by M. Kaeder
Mastered @ Nettleingham Audio

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Rainstick Cowbell Portland, Oregon

“Rainstick Cowbell makes searing music that’s intensely personal…[from] intense, clear-eyed rants to unhinged exorcisms. It’s exhilarating to hear music this raw.”
—Portland Mercury

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